Celebrating the greatest raid of all time

Today Marks the anniversary of perhaps one of the most astonishing millitary operations of British (If not the world) history.  Lets set the scene. It was WWII, Britain was on the very edge of losing the war, The German navy with it's U-Boats and battleships were tightening it's grip on the sea's surrounding Britain, Over 9million tonnes of shipping had already been sunk. Supply Ships couldn't get in, Warships out.  The result of the war at a pivotal moment, And It was about to swing heavily in the favour of the Germans, With the Arrival of the german warship the Tirpitz, Huge in size, Much faster than anything in the British navy, Stronger Armour, Heavier weapons, This was the ship that would tighten the noose around Churchill's war effort.
However, The Tirpitz' Huge size was a slight drawback, If Damaged the Turpitz only had two options for docks big enough to repair her, Go Back to Germany, Past the British defences, Or Head to the only Other Dry dock large enough for her. St Nazaire in France. Churchill New this, And Summised if the British could destroy the dock at St Nazaire the Germans would not risk sending the Tirpitz into battle.
However destroying Europes largest dry dock was no easy task, It could be done by sea as the mouth of the estury was heavily gaurded by german defences, and was 6 miles away, It couldn't be done by Submarine as the whole estury was criss crossed with anti Sub nets, Northern France was under German control so a land raid was ruled out, and It couldn't be done by air- Largely because WW2 Bombing raids were notoriously innacurate, Only 20% of Bombs landed withing 5 miles of the intended target, Also next to the Dock was 40 U-Boat pens, a very important commodoty of the germans, and as a result were protected by 80 anti aircraft guns, and In St Nazaire itself 5000 German troops.
So Churchil Needed a plan, And the result of his pondering was truly epic. It relied on a relativley new bunch of Soldiers called the Commandos, When we think of these we imagine 6ft, Chisel Jawed god like men. But in reality the Commandos were chosen as much for their brains as their braun. They were made up of University graduates, Don's at Oxford, Poachers, Motorcyclists, Journalists etc. Not your average commandos (A thought embedded by Micky Burn, Who had a upper class up bringing, Went to Oxford, Became a Nazi Sympathiser, Met Hitler, and the Queen, And Audrey Hepburn).
The Commandos were an Elite bunch, They trained completely differently to the regular army, No Parades, or Barracks, Just endurance marching, Assault courses and Live weapons training. The commandos Job was simply to go to the mission, Cause as much chaos as possible, and get out.
At this stage, Japan Entered the war, Forcing us to send a fleet of warships to Japan, We were losing in africa, we were losing the battle of the Atlantic and London was in tatters. Chruchill wanted succesful aggression to help raise morale back home, And So, Operation Chariot was born.
Operation Chariot involved the commandos aquiring a couple of destroyers, Sailing them from Cornwall to St Nazaire and Driving one of them, (The one jam Packed with explosives) into the dock gate. Avoiding the 20 odd gunning placements along the way. Once the Boat had rammed the dock gates the commandos would run around shooting and blowing things up run back to the other destroyer (Which had somehow managed to avoid being blown to bits while waiting) and sail back to Blighty in time for the late night shipping forecast.
The RAF were meant to send 100 aircraft to offer a diversion bombing raid over St Nazaire as the Destroyers sailed to the target, But The RAF Commander thought the idea was crazy and offered about a dozen bombers. The Navy Werent keen either, And thought the idea was silly.  They weren't forthcoming with destroyers, But after much pleading found the HMS Campbeltown, On loan to Britain from The USA, It was old, Slow poorly armoured and unreliable. The commandos were unfazed. The Campbeltown would have to sneak past 80 Gun placements on it's way to the dock, So with just 12 days to go the Navy set about disguising it as a german ship, They sawed 2 funnels off and cut the other two at an angle, so at a glance it looked sort of German, Sort of.
The job of Turning the newly modified ship into a bomb fell to a shy, Naval officer called Nigel Tibbets. He was the best student at Dartmouth naval college, But even he struggled turning the Campbeltown into a bomb. Where in the ship do you put the bomb? The front?, Middle? Back? Tibbet elected for somewhere near the middle, He then had to time the explosion and with no digital timers he had to rely on Acid timing devices, Which were unreliable depending on the stregnth of the acid or the wire it would burn through, They were also suseptible to shock and sudden movements, You wouldn't want to drive a boat into a dock gate with one, for example. The Campeltown was packed with 4 tonnes of explosives, The plan was set.
However in the Unlikely event everything went well there was still a problem, How to get the commandos home? The navy would only provide one destroyer, But they did provide 16 Fairmile ML's They were a plywood mass produced boat, Largely built for tourist trips and to increase the size of the navy, They were not really suited for open sea, they rolled badly and often caused sea sickness, They were unarmoured, had very light weaponary, And had exposed fuel tanks. The Campbeltown was a bomb on purpose, These were a Bomb by accident. And they had to take half of the commandos up to St Nazaire and Back. Looking back this mission was clearly a one way ticket for most of the men.
The commandos were given a chance to write letters to loved ones in the event they didn't come back, The newly married bomb designer Tibbets somehow new he wasn't coming back. Before boarding for the mission all commandos were offered a chance to stand down, None did. so at 2pm on the 26th of march the Campbeltown and 16 wooden cruisers set sail, With 265 Commandos and 350 navy personel. 620 Men, Only 227 came back.
The 6 Mile journey up the estuary to St Nazaire was frought with danger, Avoiding the sandbanks But staying out of reach of the german guns. To increase speed the armour had been removed, so If she did become grounded it was game over.  Amazingly the first 3 German gun boxes didn't open fire on the vaguely German looking boat. The RAF Bombing raid was a disaster as there was cloud cover, The Germans were now suspicious, A german signal from shore was remarkebly answered by the crewmen who had found the german codebook, Twice the Germand opened fire, But each time the Campbeltown responded with the correct codes. But just 2000yds from the dock gate the Germans realised their mistake, They opened fire, and Bullets came from all angles at the Campbeltown, The first captain was killed, and a second man took the helm of the Campbeltown, But he too was soon killed, Then Montgomery an engineer, found himself at the wheel, Confused and in disaray he felt a tap on his shoulder, It was Tibbets, the scientist, The Bomb designer, who took over the ship. At the last minutes the British realised they realised they were heading for the wrong dock, But some heroic seamanship saw the Campbeltown redirected to the right target, Under a hail of gunfire, In pitch black, Then the impact, the Campbeltown hit the gate and reared up, The bomb was now exactly on top of the gate. In the 2 hours before the bomb went off the Commandos, Outnumbered 20:1 were sent to go out and destroy as much as possible and get back to the small boats for the journey back. 4 commandos led by a severley injured stockbroker were given the job of destroying the U-Boat pens, So badly wounded, with ready to blow explosives in his his hand the stockbroker climbed 7 flights of stairs in the dark and destroyed the pens, The Winding house was also destroyed. As the commandos gathered to depart they saw a harrowing sight, All but a couple of the wooden ML's had been sunk, The sea was awash with flame and Bodies. The commandos then had to fight there way out of town and to spain, 350 Miles away. 5000 Germans vs 120 British Commandos.  The commandos now numbering just 80 were whittled down and went to ground in various places. Many were captured, Some killed. And as Dawn Broke the battle was over, Just 5 made it to spain, 220 made it back on the wooden boats and 250 were taken prisoner. And to cap it all, The Campbeltown's bomb still hadn't gone off. Even the Germans were applauding the guile of the British, A German Naval officer even reccomended a brave British seaman for a VC. The Campbeltown was now crawling with souvenir hunters. Eventually a blast ripped through the gate, The Campbeltown had finally exploded. The Dock gate was Destroyed. The Tirpitz denied a home, and as a result she spent the majority of the war in a Norwegian fjord, She was destroyed by a bombing raid having never sunk a ship. at a cost of 169 men. This was arguably the moment that won WW2.

Socks

The other day It became apparent to me that I needed new socks, Partly because my old socks were more like flip flops.  So I decided to venture out and buy some new ones, How hard can it be? Even for me it can't be anything other than simple, Or so I thought.
Upon arrival at the sock shop I was expecting to walk in, Pick up some socks and leave, No, How wrong I was, There was a giant wall of socks, Cotton socks, Wool Socks, Sport socks (Which looked very similar to cotton socks but with a stripe on top), Bamboo socks (Which apparently aids freshness Incidentally  If anyone has ever caught a whiff of a panda you will know that it doesn't).  Gym socks- Which presumably came full of more athletic, stronger and generally cooler people than me and you will pay an excessive amount when you first buy them, Use them twice and never again. Plus socks of many different colours and size. Why?, Why do we need so many choice of sock?
As always there will no doubt be some piddington with moleskin trousers who specifically goes out to buy sport socks for use with his sandals, And yes I imagine that a tall, upper class lady in a neck brace called Marion probably buys Bamboo socks for her husband, Because It's something to talk about at her dinner parties, But for the average person a sock is a sock.
Then another thought occured to me, It's taken me a long time and caused an (abnormal) amount of anguish to buy socks, What am I going to do when it comes to buying a house? Or a fridge? I mean you can get fridges, Fridge freezers, Big Fridges, Fridges with Ice cube makers.  It's a mine field out there, And thats before I start on paint colours; Magnolia, Beige, Off White, Buttermilk, ButterNut, Butter- and thats just the different words for 'cream'.
I think I'll go for wallpaper.