Dear Mr Allam, (I'm not particularly bothered which one)
I don't know a lot about marine generators, so perhaps you could help me. Can they be used to rescue a sinking ship? If so what size would I need to rescue Hull City AFC, A good ship that you've driven head first into stormy, iceberg filled waters.
Firstly let me say I'm not an idiot, I'm aware of the investment you have put into the club, I'm aware you and your family have overseen one of the most successful periods in the clubs history. But at what cost? I for one will not be lining your pockets anymore. and there are more like me, many of them hardcore, well weathered City supporters who earned their stripes many moons ago.
Lets face it, as City fans we've seen some appalling football, and some even more appalling footballers. We've stood in the open terrace of St James park (Exeter) in the pouring rain watching 22 no hopers and ne'er do well's aimlessly chase a ball around a ploughed field for little more than a 13 place finish in the lowest league. We're possibly the only club in the country who can class Macclesfield as a bogey team, I mean Macclesfield!!. I myself used to make a 4 hour round trip to watch city, not too bad on a Saturday, but Tuesday night games tested my resolve, especially when the football was, more often than not, complete garbage. We've been locked out of our ground. We've even seen Dave Bamber play 28 times...
But after all that, we keep coming back, Why? Because we support, love and follow Hull City AFC. But what Is Hull City AFC? Because although you own it, It certainly isn't you! It's not whoever the manager is, or whoever the star players are. It's more than that, its difficult to explain, it's the circumstance. Hull City AFC isn't Chris Chilton, It's not Ken Wagstaff, It's 'Chillo and Waggy'. No one remembers Alan Fettis's goalkeeping performances, But we all remember that goal. Theo Whitmore for example was at the time one of the most talented players to play for the club, Yet it's his performance against us for Tranmere that people remember. Hull City AFC is entirely subjective to every fan, for me it's been lofted high into the air by a complete stranger in the away end at Bootham Crescent after someone who's long since left the club scored a late winner. It's the other season ticket holders we sit around, we might only see each other for an hour and half every other Saturday, but we're still mates, Because I know, and every other season ticket holders know; that once chairman, managers, star strikers and cult hero's have resigned, been sacked, sold to save the club or retired, we know we will still be here, and Hull City AFC will still be here.
But the atmosphere around the club at the moment is toxic, You alienated many with the name change. A simple poll with the fans before any major action would have saved all that. Simply letting the idea slowly die away after the first FA Rejection would have also seen that storm pass. But the name calling and petty reactions from You an esteemed and successful business man meant that many fans felt completely unvalued. The membership scheme was another disaster, again leaving many fans feeling unvalued and unwanted. How after all we have been through as supporters of the club can we be allowed to feel unwanted, Indeed supporters of any club (with the possible exception of MK Dons) deserve more than to be continually ill treated by the people who are running the thing they love. And then for many, the straw that broke the camels back, the departure of our most successful manager Steve Bruce. He didn't always get it right on the pitch, in fact some of the football towards the back end of last season was abysmal stuff, but his managerial credentials cannot be questioned. If I wanted someone to keep my club in the top flight Mr Bruce would be top of my list. One of the key elements of his early success with the club, I believe, was the fact he was managing without the pressure of being at a top flight club, constantly scrutinised. He seemed to enjoy the freedom and as fans, we enjoyed the results. But this atmosphere created by Yourself and the lack of progress with the sale was too much for an honest, hard working, down to earth football man, and Mr Bruce was driven out. Wait, that sounds familiar. The manager and the fans seem to be running parallel paths.
So now we are weeks away from a new season, disgruntled fans threatening protests and stay aways. Pitiful amounts of season tickets...Ooops sorry, Hull Tigers Memberships sold, No manager and no money for players, Not too mention the ever growing injury list. and a militant owner dripping poison into the very veins of the football club. I can however understand your reluctance to sanction spending, afterall you are going to sell in September, when I sold my trusty X Reg VW Polo I gave it a quick once over with a 35 year old bottle of Autoglym no one wanted and checked the oil but that was it, I certainly didn't fill up the tank and put new alloys on it. (Just in case any one is wondering, Yes I am comparing Peter Odemwingie to a car polish). But when I sold it I didn't take the wheels off, Remove the engine and smear the windscreen in sudocreme.
Mr Allam, Hull City AFC and It's supporters deserve so much more than this.
James Martin
Sunday, 24 July 2016
Monday, 23 November 2015
Taxing Problem
Today, upon my return from work, I was greeted by a pile of post on my mat, Mostly junk mail offering me money off things I don't need, But more interestingly a letter from HM Revenue & Customs, I eagerly opened it, Keen to peruse the witty, humorous, action packed letter one becomes accustomed to from such a fine upstanding government body.
Alas I was mistaken, Instead I got a nice letter, Including Tables, Pie charts and decimal places, Making good use of someone's GCSE ICT qualification using Microsoft Excel. It was breaking down where all the tax I paid last year got used.
And it didn't half get me riled up.....
Now I'm not as much of an idiot as my close friends and family, Bosses, and other people in authority would have you believe, I understand we need to pay tax, And for the most part I advocate paying tax.
In reverse Order (So from the least amount of my money, to the most) here is where the bulk of my tax went, And my thoughts on them. (If you have access to music playing facilities I recommend trying to get the jingle that plays in the background when Everyone's favourite (Not yet arrested for Sexual offences) radio DJ Tony Blackburn does his top 40, And play that while you read this.
The lowest amount of my tax goes to.
UK Contribution to the EU Market-
Now this is all very complicated, And Nobody understands it, Not even the people who make the EU Budget, But everyone has an opinion on it, However my monetary contribution was so pitiful I don't think I can complain.
Overseas Aid-
I don't really have any issues with this to be fair, Even the poorest people in this country, (You know, the ones who can only afford 1 car per family, and have HTC's and not IPhones) are in the richest 3% in the world, So I aren't too fussed that nearly £100 of my last years earnings went to somewhere who doesn't have anything, Providing it actually goes to them, and not to some charity boss, As I suspect it might.
Then we have the Mid table, Which includes lots of generic, wishy washy terms, Such as Environment, Business and industry, Culture, And Utilities,
All largely dull, And probably involve many meetings where not much gets sorted but everyone has to wear hi viz vests and drive Electric cars and be Foreign, Religious, and vegetarian. Which leads to...
Government administration
I don't know what this means, I can only assume It's £146 worth of Fair trade chocolate digestive's for council meetings, Either that or it keeps Mr Cameron's PA in Prada....
Transport-
Quite a sizeable chunk of money goes here, Which comes as a surprise, considering the fact that getting anywhere on our island is almost impossible. Unless you use public transport, Then you will get there, But you'll be late, poor, and have probably picked up some hideous disease. The government could save a fortune by privatising....
Public order and Safety-
I'm assuming this is the police, as they don't feature anywhere else on my list, So I cant really complain, It's reassuring to know when some Low life smack head breaks into my house with a machete trying to steal money for his next score, That within a few weeks a nice PCSO may turn up with a crime reference number for me, That'll teach em'
National Debt interest-
I'm not sure what this means, But it must be very interesting because it costs me nearly £400
Defence-
We should probably be spending more on this, Especially at the moment, This Should also be put into helping ex military personnel to re adjust.
Education-
Can't really complain about this, After all It's the next generation of Brunel's, Marie Curie's, and Rick Astley's. Plus when I'm 90 and useless, and broken, And I get someone looking after me, I want them to be educated enough to be able to give me the right tablets at the right time.
State Pensions-
This is fine, If someone's worked hard all there life, They should be allowed to spend my money on Lavender soaps, and Cruises and the such.
Health-
I mostly agree with this being 2nd on the list, Afterall, If I have to throw myself at the mercies of the NHS with something lodged somewhere it shouldn't be, Or something green that shouldn't be green, I want the poor sod who has to stare or poke at it to be well paid. However I don't agree with my money being spent to help people who eat too much, or smoke too much, or take too much drugs or Drink too much, I'm sorry, If you believe that Smoking 50 Cigarettes before your deep fried Iceland pie for breakfast, and Drinking Special Brew With your MCAT for lunch is a good idea, then you should pay for your own treatment, It's exceedingly rare that these things are anything other than poor lifestyle choices, And for those of us who are sensible with our Drinking, Smoking, Drug taking and Eating should not have to pay for YOU!! It's also worth noting the cost of most basic prescriptions, In fact Unless people actually need an prescription to maintain a healthy life, You should have to pay. In my opinion.
And the Winner,
Taking around £2000 off me last year.....
WELFARE-
Ok, So lets start sensibly, Some people, through illness or other reasons Genuinely cannot work, and these people and their family should be given every help available, at whatever cost, Because were human, and nobody with say MS or Some other debilitating illness should have to suffer. But I feel these people are the minority. And the majority is made up of the Idle and those suffering from a mix of no pride and a bout of 'I cant be arsed'. Yes having a bad back would stop you from being a builder, Or a Tight rope walker, But It doesn't stop you working in a call centre, Or a bank, Or a Bus driver (Although You would need to be suitably miserable and grumpy to land this job) The same with being fat, Or bald.... Why, Then Should those of us who Work hard, Far too hard in my opinion, Who see more of our colleagues than our families, Should we support the Fat and Lazy through Life?? We shouldn't, Should we?
Mrs Thatcher would be turning in her grave.
Socialism, Isn't working.
Alas I was mistaken, Instead I got a nice letter, Including Tables, Pie charts and decimal places, Making good use of someone's GCSE ICT qualification using Microsoft Excel. It was breaking down where all the tax I paid last year got used.
And it didn't half get me riled up.....
Now I'm not as much of an idiot as my close friends and family, Bosses, and other people in authority would have you believe, I understand we need to pay tax, And for the most part I advocate paying tax.
In reverse Order (So from the least amount of my money, to the most) here is where the bulk of my tax went, And my thoughts on them. (If you have access to music playing facilities I recommend trying to get the jingle that plays in the background when Everyone's favourite (Not yet arrested for Sexual offences) radio DJ Tony Blackburn does his top 40, And play that while you read this.
The lowest amount of my tax goes to.
UK Contribution to the EU Market-
Now this is all very complicated, And Nobody understands it, Not even the people who make the EU Budget, But everyone has an opinion on it, However my monetary contribution was so pitiful I don't think I can complain.
Overseas Aid-
I don't really have any issues with this to be fair, Even the poorest people in this country, (You know, the ones who can only afford 1 car per family, and have HTC's and not IPhones) are in the richest 3% in the world, So I aren't too fussed that nearly £100 of my last years earnings went to somewhere who doesn't have anything, Providing it actually goes to them, and not to some charity boss, As I suspect it might.
Then we have the Mid table, Which includes lots of generic, wishy washy terms, Such as Environment, Business and industry, Culture, And Utilities,
All largely dull, And probably involve many meetings where not much gets sorted but everyone has to wear hi viz vests and drive Electric cars and be Foreign, Religious, and vegetarian. Which leads to...
Government administration
I don't know what this means, I can only assume It's £146 worth of Fair trade chocolate digestive's for council meetings, Either that or it keeps Mr Cameron's PA in Prada....
Transport-
Quite a sizeable chunk of money goes here, Which comes as a surprise, considering the fact that getting anywhere on our island is almost impossible. Unless you use public transport, Then you will get there, But you'll be late, poor, and have probably picked up some hideous disease. The government could save a fortune by privatising....
Public order and Safety-
I'm assuming this is the police, as they don't feature anywhere else on my list, So I cant really complain, It's reassuring to know when some Low life smack head breaks into my house with a machete trying to steal money for his next score, That within a few weeks a nice PCSO may turn up with a crime reference number for me, That'll teach em'
National Debt interest-
I'm not sure what this means, But it must be very interesting because it costs me nearly £400
Defence-
We should probably be spending more on this, Especially at the moment, This Should also be put into helping ex military personnel to re adjust.
Education-
Can't really complain about this, After all It's the next generation of Brunel's, Marie Curie's, and Rick Astley's. Plus when I'm 90 and useless, and broken, And I get someone looking after me, I want them to be educated enough to be able to give me the right tablets at the right time.
State Pensions-
This is fine, If someone's worked hard all there life, They should be allowed to spend my money on Lavender soaps, and Cruises and the such.
Health-
I mostly agree with this being 2nd on the list, Afterall, If I have to throw myself at the mercies of the NHS with something lodged somewhere it shouldn't be, Or something green that shouldn't be green, I want the poor sod who has to stare or poke at it to be well paid. However I don't agree with my money being spent to help people who eat too much, or smoke too much, or take too much drugs or Drink too much, I'm sorry, If you believe that Smoking 50 Cigarettes before your deep fried Iceland pie for breakfast, and Drinking Special Brew With your MCAT for lunch is a good idea, then you should pay for your own treatment, It's exceedingly rare that these things are anything other than poor lifestyle choices, And for those of us who are sensible with our Drinking, Smoking, Drug taking and Eating should not have to pay for YOU!! It's also worth noting the cost of most basic prescriptions, In fact Unless people actually need an prescription to maintain a healthy life, You should have to pay. In my opinion.
And the Winner,
Taking around £2000 off me last year.....
WELFARE-
Ok, So lets start sensibly, Some people, through illness or other reasons Genuinely cannot work, and these people and their family should be given every help available, at whatever cost, Because were human, and nobody with say MS or Some other debilitating illness should have to suffer. But I feel these people are the minority. And the majority is made up of the Idle and those suffering from a mix of no pride and a bout of 'I cant be arsed'. Yes having a bad back would stop you from being a builder, Or a Tight rope walker, But It doesn't stop you working in a call centre, Or a bank, Or a Bus driver (Although You would need to be suitably miserable and grumpy to land this job) The same with being fat, Or bald.... Why, Then Should those of us who Work hard, Far too hard in my opinion, Who see more of our colleagues than our families, Should we support the Fat and Lazy through Life?? We shouldn't, Should we?
Mrs Thatcher would be turning in her grave.
Socialism, Isn't working.
Thursday, 9 July 2015
Driving me mad
Cars are clever when you think about it, The people who design cars are also clever, As are the people who build them, and the people who fix them. I spent a large chunk of my childhood sat in wonky camping chairs, eating revolting picnic food (I dislike picnics with a passion) in fields or the grounds of stately homes while car enthusiast men swapped tales of carburettors, rusting wings and divorce. But even the cars they had spent thousands on, taken apart, driven once and taken apart again were clever, And modern car's are getting cleverer.
Modern cars, are of course much more reliable, and very rarely go wrong if looked after correctly. So what does go wrong with cars the most? The brakes? Lights? Wheels?
No, Unfortunately its the blobs of skin and bone behind the wheel. I work 36 minutes away from my house, around 22 miles, On my journey home today I could've been killed, TWICE. That means I encountered a complete moron every 11 miles, and they're just the ones who bothered to show themselves.
Firstly the tractor driver who at Lisset crossroads decided it would be a good idea to try and pull his Massey wotsit and 30ft trailer across the road in front of me, He'd have struggled to make it across the road in a leer jet never mind a sodding tractor. I appreciate he was most probably looking forward to getting home to his ruddy faced wife who's had a large pot of stew on the boil since he last got up 3 years ago, And yes, he may have been stressed because his turnips have all got tuberculosis because of all the rain/sun/badgers/foxes or the lack of rain/sun/badgers/foxes, But I suspect none of these are the case, and that Mr Gummidge was just a complete and utter Cockersaurus Rex.
Move forward 10 minutes, I'd finally got the image of me forcing a farmers limp body into his own bailer, And was further along the road onto the dual carriageway that has a speed limit of 70mph. at 70mph you have to be very certain before you do anything that what you're about to do is safe, Isn't that right? Man in gold coloured Toyota saloon? So for example if I was about to move into the outside lane I'd check my mirrors, if it was clear I'd indicate and pull out. Then If I realised I was a complete retard and I infact didn't need to be in the outside lane, I'd repeat the process for changing back, Not Pull across without indicating and using mirrors nearly running the car parallel to you off the road, then realising you were indeed a complete retard and doing the same again on your way back across. Maybe Mr Gold Toyota man has reasons for his lapse, Maybe he was stressed, Maybe he'd had a difficult day at work, Maybe while he spends his weekends deciding which beige cardigan best matches his brown moleskin trousers, his wife was sleeping with a man half his age? , Maybe he was concerned at the state of the economy?. Unfortunately though I suspect that this individual was just a great big testicle.
I don't claim to be particularly intelligent, I can tell you some things, Brogan and Haldane were both characters in 90's sci fi series space precinct, I can tell you the difference between Soup and Broth, I can name most of the US presidents in roughly the right order. But my mental arithmetic leaves a lot to be desired, my ability to identify Great British birds is poor and I'm terrible painting, But I do know most car makers put things on cars for a reason, Indicators - Indicate intent to move, Mirrors-Help us see things behind us without having to rotate our heads 360 degrees. Unfortunately car manufacturers can't make drivers. And so many drivers are terrible at it. If as a person 60mph scares you, so you drive everywhere at 45mph then you shouldn't be driving, If you can't see past the bonnet of your tiny Japanese car you also shouldn't be driving, If you believe that 3mm between the car in front and your Audi badge is sufficient stopping distance you shouldn't be driving. If you decorate your Corsa with most of the things in Halfords (under £19.99) then drive everywhere with fog lights on, you shouldn't be driving.
Unfortunately the problem cannot be solved, The police are undermanned, everyone and anyone can apply for a drivers license, and ethnic cleansing is frowned upon, So have this as a warning, I avoided almost inevitable death twice in 36 minutes, My mind sharp, untarnished by drink, drugs or Bon Jovi, But others might not be so lucky, My advice, and the only way to avoid accidents, is this, Drive everywhere at 45mph, it's so much safer, keep your front and rear fog lights on, so all the other maniacs can see you, Drive really close to the car in front, so you know exactly what they are doing, And finally Put on radio 4, It's constant news will keep you in the know, and the Archers will send you to sleep making you refreshed for the rest of the journey, Or at least until Ed Grundy breaks another combine.....
Modern cars, are of course much more reliable, and very rarely go wrong if looked after correctly. So what does go wrong with cars the most? The brakes? Lights? Wheels?
No, Unfortunately its the blobs of skin and bone behind the wheel. I work 36 minutes away from my house, around 22 miles, On my journey home today I could've been killed, TWICE. That means I encountered a complete moron every 11 miles, and they're just the ones who bothered to show themselves.
Firstly the tractor driver who at Lisset crossroads decided it would be a good idea to try and pull his Massey wotsit and 30ft trailer across the road in front of me, He'd have struggled to make it across the road in a leer jet never mind a sodding tractor. I appreciate he was most probably looking forward to getting home to his ruddy faced wife who's had a large pot of stew on the boil since he last got up 3 years ago, And yes, he may have been stressed because his turnips have all got tuberculosis because of all the rain/sun/badgers/foxes or the lack of rain/sun/badgers/foxes, But I suspect none of these are the case, and that Mr Gummidge was just a complete and utter Cockersaurus Rex.
Move forward 10 minutes, I'd finally got the image of me forcing a farmers limp body into his own bailer, And was further along the road onto the dual carriageway that has a speed limit of 70mph. at 70mph you have to be very certain before you do anything that what you're about to do is safe, Isn't that right? Man in gold coloured Toyota saloon? So for example if I was about to move into the outside lane I'd check my mirrors, if it was clear I'd indicate and pull out. Then If I realised I was a complete retard and I infact didn't need to be in the outside lane, I'd repeat the process for changing back, Not Pull across without indicating and using mirrors nearly running the car parallel to you off the road, then realising you were indeed a complete retard and doing the same again on your way back across. Maybe Mr Gold Toyota man has reasons for his lapse, Maybe he was stressed, Maybe he'd had a difficult day at work, Maybe while he spends his weekends deciding which beige cardigan best matches his brown moleskin trousers, his wife was sleeping with a man half his age? , Maybe he was concerned at the state of the economy?. Unfortunately though I suspect that this individual was just a great big testicle.
I don't claim to be particularly intelligent, I can tell you some things, Brogan and Haldane were both characters in 90's sci fi series space precinct, I can tell you the difference between Soup and Broth, I can name most of the US presidents in roughly the right order. But my mental arithmetic leaves a lot to be desired, my ability to identify Great British birds is poor and I'm terrible painting, But I do know most car makers put things on cars for a reason, Indicators - Indicate intent to move, Mirrors-Help us see things behind us without having to rotate our heads 360 degrees. Unfortunately car manufacturers can't make drivers. And so many drivers are terrible at it. If as a person 60mph scares you, so you drive everywhere at 45mph then you shouldn't be driving, If you can't see past the bonnet of your tiny Japanese car you also shouldn't be driving, If you believe that 3mm between the car in front and your Audi badge is sufficient stopping distance you shouldn't be driving. If you decorate your Corsa with most of the things in Halfords (under £19.99) then drive everywhere with fog lights on, you shouldn't be driving.
Unfortunately the problem cannot be solved, The police are undermanned, everyone and anyone can apply for a drivers license, and ethnic cleansing is frowned upon, So have this as a warning, I avoided almost inevitable death twice in 36 minutes, My mind sharp, untarnished by drink, drugs or Bon Jovi, But others might not be so lucky, My advice, and the only way to avoid accidents, is this, Drive everywhere at 45mph, it's so much safer, keep your front and rear fog lights on, so all the other maniacs can see you, Drive really close to the car in front, so you know exactly what they are doing, And finally Put on radio 4, It's constant news will keep you in the know, and the Archers will send you to sleep making you refreshed for the rest of the journey, Or at least until Ed Grundy breaks another combine.....
Thursday, 9 January 2014
An apology to Wales
Dear Everyone,
In my last blog 'Cheap Holidays' I described Wales as "Britain's largest bit of wasteland". This seems to have gone down quite badly with the Welsh, and Welsh sympathisers. So I did the responsible thing, and looked up some facts about the land of fog and hepatitis B, and discovered that it is in fact a wonderful place.For a start Wales is famous for Leeks and Coal, Both of which they had on the Luxury film inspired cruise ship Titanic. Also, During the war, the Germans knew just how important Wales would be to the world that they didn't
There are also many famous people from Wales, The Best known being ageing love machine and Nelson Mandela impersonator Sir Tom Jones, Who's hit Delilah is about a Jealous man who stabs his wife to death, A truly beautiful ballad.
However there are more famous folk from the valleys; Griff Rhys Jones, Despite his French sounding name, is indeed Welsh, as Is Colonel Gaddafi.....'s Best friends sister.
The Climate in Welsh Wales is also very tolerable, With very few natural disasters occurring each year. 90% of Wales's rainfall is recycled into making natural Welsh mud, or the A5 as it's commonly known.
Wales also has it's own language, Which is spoken widely throughout Europe, By incredibly few people, However many welsh schools insist on teaching it, because they know just how useful it may be in the future. It is quite easy to learn, and most words can be mastered using only the letter 'D' and spitting a lot.
Anyway, I'm hoping that this open letter goes some way to making amends with the welsh, and Helping right some wrongs.
Wales, I am very sorry.
Love ME
Wednesday, 30 October 2013
Cheap Holidays....
Short
of Money?
Need
a break?
Only
had 2 holidays this year?
Why not
Holiday In England
As we are all aware, the current economic climate
has taken its toll. Nobody is as well off as they used to be. And this week
British gas and other energy suppliers have raised prices, Begging two
questions.
· What
is the best temperature to defrost frozen elderly relatives?
· How
are we going to afford a holiday?
Now I can't answer the first question, but the I
can the second; it’s quite simple really. Holiday at home. No I don't mean go
and live in your shed for a week, I mean Say 'au revoir'
To the Dordogne, and Say hello to the places
England has to offer.
Now this is not new, many thin, slightly odd,
sandal wearing vegetarians have been doing it for years. But they go to places
like the lake district, Or Loch Ness, Or Stonehenge, Where you will inevitably
end up Underwhelmed, Wet, and paying over the odds for lumps of shiny stone, or
bottled water. So this 'Helpful' Guide Features places where that isn't going
to happen (Well, you may get wet, I can't stop the weather....Yet). So get your
finest tracksuit on, and pack your crocs, because were going on Holiday....
Wales
Known too many as Wales,
or Whales. It is indeed England’s largest piece of derelict
wasteland.
Home too just a few hundred Locals, Called the Welsh. There are many things to
do in Wales, Including Visiting one of its many crack dens, (Usually located in
the larger cities such as Cardiff). Wales has No museums, and looks upon
culture dimly. However, if you manage to approach a local who isn’t high on ‘Rubicon’
you could indeed spend hours listening to them ramble on about Coal, Digging, and
Digging for coal and Leeks. That however is difficult, because for some reason,
many original locals refuse to drop their now largely pointless language, and
cannot be understood.
It also has a lot of Hills, and Sheep, and judging
by the picture it has a fair few misty hills as well. Wales is largely child unfriendly, In fact it
has been known for parents to unwittingly take a 5 year old to Wales and return
with a 5 year old Heroin addict. It is however cheap. And much prettier than
Bristol.
Leicester
Leicester, Is an upcoming city, working very hard
to dispel its poor reputation. And recently in fact, Came 5th on the
Midlands city of culture list. Behind Coventry, Wolverhampton, Birmingham and
West Bromwich. Leicester has many interesting things to see and Do, Including
Junction 21 of the M1, Which is widely regarded as the busiest section of the
motorway, you and your children can stand in awe at the sheer amount of cars,
Trucks and vans that are driving on it. ‘Discover Leicester’ Run an open top
bus tour around all of Leicester’s tourist spots, So if you find yourself with
a spare 4 minutes to kill this is a must. Many think that every single person
from or connected with Leicester is tediously dull, this is not true. In fact
many Lecesities are there by accident, either through work, or at her
majesty’s pleasure, and are in fact very interesting. If you can find any shops
in Leicester they are all very cheap.
Wakefield
Wakefield, Known as ‘The heart of the Rhubarb triangle’ Or the
Jewell of the West Riding (Named after the large factory that makes Argos jewellery,
which is located just outside of Wakefield) Is definitely the place to go if
you want a cheap relaxing holiday. It has literally a few things to do.
Including a large shopping centre, which is very quiet. (Unless you happen to
be near the benefits office). The centre has a range of shops Including Pound
land, Mothercare, and a DFS (Note, at the time of writing DFS was closing down).
Once you have finished shopping, you could indulge in one of the town’s fine
eatery’s including a Greggs, McDonald’s or a KFC imitation. Wakefield also boasts
the largest amount of Polish off licenses in England. If you want to experience
some of the local culture, you could try slobbing around all day, grunting at
the TV before heading out at 8pm to throw something in the canal, a tradition
the locals have followed for many years, seemingly trying to appease the god of
benefit Britain. The most common sacrifices include Old TV’s, Trolleys and dead
whippets.
Thank you for reading, I hope this has given you an idea of some
cheap holiday locations, But if none of the places on the list press your
buttons, Read next week for more deals.
Monday, 23 September 2013
Before long anyone with a land rover will be forced to live underground.
For years in Britain there has been 3 main political parties with largely differing views on the way the country is run. And then languishing in the background, Like the wheezy kid who was always picked last at football Is the green party.
Some may say that the Labour party has been the most uccesfull party in recent years, Others may argue it's been the tories. There's probably a few people with pritt sticks up their noses that would say the Lib dems have done well. But actually, It's the green eco warriors who've done the best. Because like hemp clad power rangers they have infiltrated all the other parties, and made them do what they want.
This week for instance, It has been announced that people are to be fined for using plastic bags. In an attempt to stop polar bears throwing themselves into the sea. We all know that plastic bags are very bad, Much worse than Hitler, and Smoking. So something does need to be done. But imposing a fine on the shopper is not it.
For instance The fines are going to be around 5-10p So if you do forget your own bag it's just going to be easier to pay the fine, as opposed to struggling out of Asda with your big shop stuffed down your tracksuit. And I can just see the look on 'Sharon' from till 5's face when you need £19.95 change because you left your bag at home.
Fining the shopper is the wrong move, Fining the supermarket would be much better, Cauliflowers are wrapped up like they're solid gold, Apples are more secure than area 51 and Pork chops are sandwiched between that much plastic anyone would think they are highly toxic.None of these products need that level of packaging, and as far as I'm aware broccoli does not get embarrassed when it is displayed naked. All of this plastic has to go somewhere? Maybe the government should start fining large companies everytime an item of their packaging is found in the street? Then they'd start reducing those evil plastic bags.
All these parties seem to want to tell us what to do, Or at least let people tell us what to do. At school teachers tell you what to do, and where to go, Unless you have A (largely made up) ADHD style illness, In which case teachers aren't allowed to tell you what to do. Ten years ago Bankers told anybody they could have any amount of money they wanted for whatever reason, regardless of Job, Prospects or Intelligence, Now the same Bankers are saying that no one can ever borrow money again. One minute Vegetarian's wearing beards and hemp sandals are saying we musn't shoot foxes, or hunt ducks and deers, or catch fish, or eat cows, chicken or anything that once had a face. The next Men in sharp suits stood in front of ruddy faced farmers are telling us we must Kill, punch, kick, slap and poke every badger we see.
The police tell us how fast we can drive, despite having no real idea of the road or driver conditions,And the vegetablists are telling us we can't drive anything that might give off pollution or squash a squirrel. The government tell us where and what we can smoke and drink.
It does indeed seem, That anyone who wears a suit, a beard, or a hi viz vest can tell us all what to do. Unless of course your a ginger, homosexual muslim. In which case No one can tell you what do.
Some may say that the Labour party has been the most uccesfull party in recent years, Others may argue it's been the tories. There's probably a few people with pritt sticks up their noses that would say the Lib dems have done well. But actually, It's the green eco warriors who've done the best. Because like hemp clad power rangers they have infiltrated all the other parties, and made them do what they want.
This week for instance, It has been announced that people are to be fined for using plastic bags. In an attempt to stop polar bears throwing themselves into the sea. We all know that plastic bags are very bad, Much worse than Hitler, and Smoking. So something does need to be done. But imposing a fine on the shopper is not it.
For instance The fines are going to be around 5-10p So if you do forget your own bag it's just going to be easier to pay the fine, as opposed to struggling out of Asda with your big shop stuffed down your tracksuit. And I can just see the look on 'Sharon' from till 5's face when you need £19.95 change because you left your bag at home.
Fining the shopper is the wrong move, Fining the supermarket would be much better, Cauliflowers are wrapped up like they're solid gold, Apples are more secure than area 51 and Pork chops are sandwiched between that much plastic anyone would think they are highly toxic.None of these products need that level of packaging, and as far as I'm aware broccoli does not get embarrassed when it is displayed naked. All of this plastic has to go somewhere? Maybe the government should start fining large companies everytime an item of their packaging is found in the street? Then they'd start reducing those evil plastic bags.
All these parties seem to want to tell us what to do, Or at least let people tell us what to do. At school teachers tell you what to do, and where to go, Unless you have A (largely made up) ADHD style illness, In which case teachers aren't allowed to tell you what to do. Ten years ago Bankers told anybody they could have any amount of money they wanted for whatever reason, regardless of Job, Prospects or Intelligence, Now the same Bankers are saying that no one can ever borrow money again. One minute Vegetarian's wearing beards and hemp sandals are saying we musn't shoot foxes, or hunt ducks and deers, or catch fish, or eat cows, chicken or anything that once had a face. The next Men in sharp suits stood in front of ruddy faced farmers are telling us we must Kill, punch, kick, slap and poke every badger we see.
The police tell us how fast we can drive, despite having no real idea of the road or driver conditions,And the vegetablists are telling us we can't drive anything that might give off pollution or squash a squirrel. The government tell us where and what we can smoke and drink.
It does indeed seem, That anyone who wears a suit, a beard, or a hi viz vest can tell us all what to do. Unless of course your a ginger, homosexual muslim. In which case No one can tell you what do.
Tuesday, 27 August 2013
Stop The Cull.
I'm not normally a fan of the usual animal cruelty/Environmental/green issue campaigns. But the recent Badger cull is pretty shocking. So as opposed to standing in between a 12 bore wielding farmer and a badger I'm going to write a blog. To voice my largely irrelevant opinion.
In short Marksmen will be going out shooting badgers because they Might pass on bovine TB. The 'might' bit is kind of important.
But as 'Bovine TB' may suggest it can also be spread between bovines...(Cows). But we won't be culling them. The disease cannot realistically be treated in cows, as a result most infected cows get the chop. So I can see why farmers want something done about it.
It can however be vaccinated against. It's not easy, or cheap But it can;
But why do I care? A man who has been pigeon shooting (granted I never even saw a bloody pigeon never mind shot one), Who regularly goes fishing and keeps the fish. And who enjoys a regular mixed grill. Why should I care about some badgers? Because been British we love an underdog, Badgers have it tough as it is. Most countryside animals are brown, or green to blend in. But badgers are grey, with a bloody great white stripe down the middle. Who thought that was good camouflage? I grew up watching Bodger and Badger (I still remember the theme tune). I'm bound to have an affinity to the poor little mites.
But Badgers are also 'my type of creature' They're quiet, they don't bark, squawk, or cry (Like dogs, Birds and childeren), They just go about there business in there own time, at there own pace, They don't demand attention or human intervention like those pesky horses. Badgers, well They're just chill.
The slightly more alarming thing is, That Bovine TB can also be passed on by other animals, Deer for example. How long before we start culling them? Or are we better off just napalming the whole of the British countryside?
In short Marksmen will be going out shooting badgers because they Might pass on bovine TB. The 'might' bit is kind of important.
But as 'Bovine TB' may suggest it can also be spread between bovines...(Cows). But we won't be culling them. The disease cannot realistically be treated in cows, as a result most infected cows get the chop. So I can see why farmers want something done about it.
It can however be vaccinated against. It's not easy, or cheap But it can;
- The government could open a number of 'drop in centers' So badgers could come along and get themselves vaccinated. But due to most Badgers dis-interest in reading newspapers or signs, they proabably wouldn't know about such places, So wouldn't turn up. Unless they are to be lured in with free mash potato.
- Or They could get people to Trap and vaccinate the badgers. It takes time and money, But is largely humane.
- Or they could mix the vaccine in with some food, and put it in and around there setts. (Like they're doing now, But just not shooting the badgers when they come out). Again it takes time and money.
But why do I care? A man who has been pigeon shooting (granted I never even saw a bloody pigeon never mind shot one), Who regularly goes fishing and keeps the fish. And who enjoys a regular mixed grill. Why should I care about some badgers? Because been British we love an underdog, Badgers have it tough as it is. Most countryside animals are brown, or green to blend in. But badgers are grey, with a bloody great white stripe down the middle. Who thought that was good camouflage? I grew up watching Bodger and Badger (I still remember the theme tune). I'm bound to have an affinity to the poor little mites.
But Badgers are also 'my type of creature' They're quiet, they don't bark, squawk, or cry (Like dogs, Birds and childeren), They just go about there business in there own time, at there own pace, They don't demand attention or human intervention like those pesky horses. Badgers, well They're just chill.
The slightly more alarming thing is, That Bovine TB can also be passed on by other animals, Deer for example. How long before we start culling them? Or are we better off just napalming the whole of the British countryside?
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