50 Shades of Health and Safety

This, is the largely untrue raunchy, and somewhat arousing story of Alan, and his dream girl, Brenda.

Alan, sat his heart racing, as Brenda whipped, harder and harder, until gradually it became stiffer and stiffer. Alan loved watching Brenda make the custard at the works canteen. He watched intently as her pink and blue tabard wafted gracefully in contrast to her vigorous arm movements. Brenda was the 50 something cook at the factory and Alan was the site safety officer. They'd both been at the factory for over 30 years, but recently separated Alan had never seen Brenda in such a light.
"One of them lamps has gone, we'll get someone in to fix that before someone has a mishap" said Alan, his eyes guiding Brenda's to the faulty light fitting over the counter.
"About bloody time" replied Brenda in a strong Lancashire accent, Alan loved it when she talked dirty.

Brenda was laying it on, thick, all over his spotted dick.
"Ok, stop there love, " said Alan in a flustered out of breath style. As the custard oozed over edges. And with a glint in his eye and a wink, Alan and Brenda parted ways once more.

Despite having both known each other for so long Alan hadn't had the courage to talk to his blue rinse babe about his passions and desires. He may have only recently been separated but the flame from his last marriage had long seen been extinguished, ever since Carol, his former wife had been diagnosed with an Irritable Bowel. And it all became too much for Alan, who masterfully demanded he be kicked out, and that she must take the Audi, sit on mower and the House. Carol, had little choice but too agree, being forced to choose wheat germ over her husband of 22 years.

Alan had longed to see Brenda out of her tabard and in her weekend clothes, and with his separation meaning he now rented a bedsit on the high street, he could, as every other Saturday Brenda and her friend Peggy would go and get their perms done, by Val at Valduzair, and Alan could sit and watch Brenda as she got out of her taxi, on some days, she'd even show a bit of underskirt.

It was now mid July, and the temperature was hotting up, and Alan sat in his office one morning, sweating, but not just because of the intense heat, but also because of the nerves, because today was the day. Today he would have his way with Brenda.

Brenda was due in his office at 9 for disciplinary chat, after she accepted some bread rolls without having the invoice forms signed, in triplicate. Alan knew this was his chance, his chance to make Brenda an offer she couldn't refuse.

With 5 minutes to go, Alan's nerves were in tatters, he polished his name badge and slowly fondled with his cuff links, his certificates glistened on the wall behind his desk. And he reached down into his desk drawer to pull the steradent flavoured condoms (two birds, one stone) to the front. Then came the call from his PA....

To be continued

Location:Paradise