The Cooperative

As the title of my blog suggests I am a largely unconvincing person socially, However you didn't need to be some sort of mind reader to work out the girl at the till in the co-op fancied me, as she fumbled around with her till roll, and struggled to scan my items, making up feeble excuses such as 'my scanners been down all day' clearly lies as she admired my patience and openly warming stance as I waited for my items. There was definitely something in the air, I shan't go into details as I wouldn't want to outsell 50 shades, but as with all love stories there was an abrupt parting, but to sum it up i eventually got my items....although I aren't allowed in co-op again.
Anyway last night watching 999 what's your emergency made me realise one thing, just how much I value my teeth and my wallpaper. For those of you who haven't see it it's basically like Jeremy Kyle filmed on location, featuring people who use the word 'was' in the wrong tense. It's amazing how much some TV programmes can touch you inside. It really does make you wonder just why the government are helping these people who waste every opportunity given to them, and have little or no ambition to change their lifestyle. Surely it would be better to give these people there benefits in the form of food stamps or utility bill stamps. That way these people would have no choice but to spend there money where it is needed and not on ecstasy and reebok track suits. If this ruling ever does come into force I'd move all my money into shares in Bernard Matthews, and other chicken dipper makers.
Talking of TV programmes that really touch you, Jim'll fix it, who'd have thought that Sir Jimmy Saville may have been, you know, one of them. I can't help but think these allegations would have been more good coming to light when he was alive, that way something could be done. But what are they going to do now? Hang him? I just can't decide wether I believe these allegations or wether its just a few people trying to make a quick buck, but anyway at least they got a medal. Of sorts.
The good news is that food prices are set to rise this winter due to a poor summer, well if that's the case would All the farmers who are clogging up the roads with their tractors kindly sod off and get some big greenhouses built in case next years summer is as bad, it would protect next years harvest and make my journeys all the more pleasurable, two birds, one stone.
Thanks again for reading, if you did. If not, take a long hard look at yourselves :p