Work, Rain and 50 shades of Gray

I'm currently watching a programme on TV fronted by Nick and Margeret off the Apprentice - It's called the town that never retired.  Basically they've forced a load of 70+ year olds from Preston to get a job, Just to see if they can do it. Needless to say it's not going well, Who would have thought a frail, 70 year old who's been retired for the last 10 years was going to struggle lifting reinforced steel joists? Or that a woman who once 'did' Joan of Arc's feet would fail to grasp the concept of word processing, And after four hours Writing click on Several Mice 'Elsie' a former WW2 land girl still hasn't managed to log into 02s main server account.  Still we've made it through the first half an hour of the programme without so much as a heart flutter. Things are looking up for them.
They should have given the poor old chaps an easy job at least, Such as Lion conservation in the Arctic, Or working for Gillette's product devolpment team, Arguably the easiest job in the world. Stroll in about 9am, Walk into the board room, "Right guys, The kids want a trip to euro disney and the wifes just finished reading 50 shades of gray, and has spent all our cash on Candles, Essential oils and cucumbers, So heres my money making idea, wait for it.....A 6 blade razor, The first blade cuts the hair, The rest just look pretty, But the beauty of it is guys, We can charge £18 for a pack of 6"  A 3 year old could do that, Never mind a pensioner.

The pensioners are out working in winter, I'm sat here in Summer, apparently, It's raining, like it has been for the past 3 weeks, At least it's stopped the hosepipe ban, And it's given people who don't really like each other but daren't ignore each other a talking point, It's also  given local people an excuse to not bother doing anything, Going out, Opening shops, smiling, That sort of thing.  Personally I don't mind the rain, It stops me having to squint when I'm trying to see people. But most people don't like rain. It'll be a bugger for the Olympics, (Not that I care) This country grinds to a standstill when we have bad weather alone, Not to mention bad weather, lots of tourists, congestion, and a Major event too host.  On average it works that every 2 weeks Britain gets embraced by completely misplaced ' Sporting event fever and overconfidence' what with the Euro's, The tennis and the Olympics.

The other Massive news story recently has been that of 50 Shades of Gray, Which is like Harry Potter, but for women who's husbands would rather play golf. It's basically a book about sex, But without actually mentioning sex on the front cover, So it can be read on the train.  It's sold Millions of copies,  And is keeping many divorcee's busy on those lonely evenings, Along with a bar of galaxy and  a bottle of Lambrini. It's also radically improved Tesco's Cucumber sales, For some reason.